How is yelling 'I communicate well!' not irony?

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Question

From a logical standpoint — if someone claims communication is their strength, they’d ask how you’re doing once in a while. Right? Objectively speaking, Marco has never — not once — asked me how I feel. Not after my father’s funeral, not when I was sick for two weeks, not even when I told him I might lose my job. He talks. A lot. About his feelings, his day, his mother’s drama, his sandwich at lunch — but it’s all monologue. I try to share something, he interrupts with a story from Rome, ends up yelling that I ‘never communicate’ when I shut down. Last night I said I was overwhelmed and he said, ‘Then fix it — that’s why I always say Germans have no emotional awareness.’ I just stared. He thinks that’s a joke. I haven’t spoken to him in three days — not because I’m punishing him, but because I don’t know how to speak into a void. His family calls every day. Mine asks if we’re still together. I’m not sure I know the answer. 💔

Aaliyah Jackson · Answer

i been there, sis. my cousin was engaged to a man who could talk for days & never heard a word she said. she’d be crying & he’d say, "i’m not mad, i just communicate well!" — like that made it okay. nah. real talk: communication ain’t just talking, it’s turning toward someone. it’s pausing your story to ask how hers went.

when i realized my ex only listened to reply, not to hear, i started asking small things — "what’s one thing you felt today?" if he couldn’t answer or brushed it off, i knew we was uneven.

try this: next time he goes off, wait for a breath & say, "i wanna hear your mom’s drama, really — but can you first tell me one thing i said last week that stuck with you?" if he can’t, it ain’t about memory. it’s about attention. & you deserve more than background noise in your own life 💪

How is yelling 'I communicate well!' not irony?

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