I love him but not in love anymore?

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Question

We’ve been together 6 years, married 2. He’s good man — works hard, respects my family, never raises voice. But when he comes home I feel nothing. Not anger, not sadness. Just… empty. Like I’m watching life through window. I didn’t say nothing wrong, but I don’t say much at all. We sleep in same bed but it’s like room has two strangers. My mother says: 'Don’t ruin family for feelings. Is normal.' But I can’t pretend forever. Sometimes I wish he’d do something bad — at least then I’d have reason to leave. But he doesn’t. He just… exists. I think I loved him once, maybe? Or maybe I just thought I should. Now I’m stuck. Can you love someone and still need to go?

Wendy Chew · Answer

Six years is long time — you don’t just wake up numb for no reason. I was same. After second baby, felt like ghost in my own home. My husband good, steady lah, but I’d rather stare at washing machine than talk to him. We ate dinner like two neighbours sharing table.

Then one day I asked him to pass ketchup. He said 'Wait, why you so quiet?' I started crying. Not drama — just broke.

We went for counselling. Not because something wrong, but because something missing. We learnt how to talk again, not just about bills or school fees. Small things first. Like sharing one thought a day that’s not about chores.

Try this: Ask him to walk with you after dinner. Just 10 minutes. No TV, no phone. Talk about something small — what you ate as kids, favourite cousin, anything. If it feels awkward, confirm it will. But do it anyway.

You don’t need him to mess up to deserve feeling something. ❤️

I love him but not in love anymore?

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