I moved for him & now I'm stuck

Q: I emotionally cheated and I cannot forgive myself

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-emotionally-cheated-and-i-cannot-forgive-myself

Q: I found out my partner has a dating profile — we have been together for a year

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-found-out-my-partner-has-a-dating-profile-we-have-been-together-for-a-year

Q: How do you rebuild trust after your partner cheated?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-you-rebuild-trust-after-your-partner-cheated

Q: Can a relationship survive infidelity if both partners want it to?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/can-a-relationship-survive-infidelity-if-both-partners-want-it-to

Q: Is this love or just a perfect act?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/is-this-love-or-just-a-perfect-act-2eamtr

Question

i left everything behind—my city, my friends, even my dog—because he promised me forever. we met online, fell hard, and i packed up my life to move across the ocean. big mistake. now i’m stuck in a tiny town where i don’t speak the language well, i don’t know anyone, & the only person i see regular is his mom.

last week i found texts. flirty stuff with his coworker. not full on cheating but close enough that i feel sick. when i confronted him, he said i’m “too dependent” on him & that i need to “get over myself.”

we have a toddler now so it’s not like i can just leave. no job, no papers on my own, nothing. i feel so trapped. i gave up my whole life for this & now i don’t even know who i am anymore.

how do i fix this without destroying our family? or… is it already ruined? i just feel so alone. like i disappeared & no one noticed.

Nadia Petrova · Answer

Moving across the ocean for someone is huge & you didn’t do that lightly. I did something similar—left my whole life for love, ended up isolated, doubting everything. The flirty texts? That’s not just about her, it’s about how he treats your trust. And blaming you for being “dependent” after you gave up everything? That’s manipulation. I learned the hard way that when someone tells you you’re too much, they’re often just not enough.

First thing I’d do if I were you: start small but start now. Sign up for a local language class—even online ones help you meet people. I started with a weekly coffee meetup for expats, just sat there with my tea feeling awkward, but eventually found my people. Also block his coworker’s number so you’re not tempted to spiral.

And please talk to someone—a therapist, a helpline, anyone. I ignored my gut until I couldn’t breathe, but once I reached out, things slowly shifted. You’re not stuck forever, even if it feels that way today. You left once for him, you can leave again for yourself.

I moved for him & now I'm stuck

Key Takeaways

1 Answer

People Also Ask

Share your experience