Is he cheating when he's drunk every night?

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Question

So my husband has been drinking every single night lately, like a bottle of whiskey almost. And it’s not just that he’s drunk—it’s that he turns into this person I don’t even know. Joking about weird stuff, flirty texts popping up on his phone when he passes out… I found a message from some girl saying “miss you” and he replied “you know where to find me 😉” the other day. I tried bringing it up and he just laughed it off like I’m being paranoid.

We’re supposed to be planning our engagement soon—his mom even brought up the Kundli match and how “perfect” we are, blah blah. But how can that matter if he’s out here changing when he drinks? Is this just stress? Or is the alcohol giving him permission to be how he really feels… or worse, hiding something?

Last week he said something about “what happens when you drink stays in the moment” like it meant more than just spilled secrets. And sometimes I wonder if he’s already crossed a line when he’s like that. Nibha Nibhi told me not to ignore red flags but I don’t even know what the f*ck is real anymore

Am I overreacting or is this a sign he’s already cheating…?

Aaliyah Jackson · Answer

My ex started doing the same thing—bottle of whiskey, flirty texts, the whole act. At first I thought it was stress, but that 'wink' reply? That’s not a typo. That’s a choice.

I waited months to confront him... big mistake. The longer you wait, the deeper the lie sets in.

Next time he’s sober—not drunk, not tipsy—sit him down. Say exactly what you saw. No accusations, just facts: 'I saw a message from someone saying miss you. You replied with a wink. I need to know what’s going on.'

Watch how he reacts. If he laughs, deflects, calls you crazy—that’s your answer.

And planning an engagement? That’s huge. But don’t walk into a ring and a lie.

I recorded the texts before I deleted them. You don’t have to, but save them somewhere. Just in case.

Trust your gut. It’s not paranoia when the signs are real.

Is he cheating when he's drunk every night?

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