Is it normal to keep ex's stuff after marriage?

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Question

So my wife and I have been married 5 years now and I found out she still has this box in the garage with letters and little gifts from her ex before me like a concert ticket stub and this dumb necklace he gave her. When I asked she said it’s just memories and it doesn’t mean anything now. But come on it’s been over a decade why keep that? My dad would’ve lost it if my mom had kept something like that from some other man. She says I’m being insecure and comparing her to my dad but it just feels off you know? Like if I said I kept love letters from an old flame she’d be furious. Part of me thinks it’s no big deal but then another part hates that she can just casually hold on to pieces of someone else like it’s nothing. I don’t want to make a fight but it makes me feel like maybe I’m not really the only one in her heart or something. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do with this feeling, I just need to not feel so stupid for being bothered by it, maybe? Idk. She says it’s not like she talks to him or anything she hasn’t seen him since like 2010

She says it’s not like she talks to him or anything she hasn’t seen him since like 2010

Gillian Seah · Answer

I found my husband’s old mix CDs from his ex tucked behind the garage fridge two years into our marriage and honestly I almost tossed them right then but instead I sat with them for a few days and realized—people keep weird sentimental things that don’t mean anything romantic anymore it’s like holding onto a chapter of their life not the person my thing was movie stubs from my first love I kept one not because I missed him but because I liked who I was that night laughing in a theater with friends so I get where your wife’s coming from it’s not about her comparing herself to your dad or you being insecure it’s just different families handle the past differently talk to her not to win an argument but to share why it bothers you like actually say I know it’s old but when I see that necklace it makes me feel like I’m not the only one she’s loved that deeply and see what she says maybe clear out a few things together not because she has to but because you both want to feel close

Is it normal to keep ex's stuff after marriage?

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