Is this control?

Q: My partner wants to close the distance but I am not ready to move

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-partner-wants-to-close-the-distance-but-i-am-not-ready-to-move

Q: How do you survive a long-distance relationship in your 20s?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-you-survive-a-long-distance-relationship-in-your-20s

Q: Long-distance partner barely calls anymore — is this the beginning of the end?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/long-distance-partner-barely-calls-anymore-is-this-the-beginning-of-the-end

Q: Still love him but not in love?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/still-love-him-but-not-in-love-0ijn3a

Q: Matched but parents not okay?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/matched-but-parents-not-okay-0zg23l

Question

I've been married for 3 years now, it was an arranged marriage, my parents chose my wife. We're trying to make it work but things are tough. Basically, she gets really upset if I don't answer her calls when I'm out with friends. She calls me every hour, says she's just concerned about me, but honestly, it feels like she's checking up on me. I told her it's suffocating me, but she just says I'm being insensitive. I feel like I'm losing my freedom, I'm not even allowed to have a guys' night without her questioning me for hours. She says it's because she loves me, but I don't know if that's a healthy way to show love. I'm really confused, part of me feels guilty for even thinking this way, my family would never approve of me questioning my wife's behavior

Christina Lopez · Answer

So my cousin went through something similar, married young, family match, all that. She started calling him every 10 minutes when he was out. Like, I get it — you want to feel connected, but it was killing his spirit. What helped? They sat down when both were calm, not in the middle of a fight, and he said, 'I love that you care, but I need space to breathe. Im not my dad, I aint cheating, I just need to laugh with my friends too.' She had to unlearn that silence = betrayal, which honestly, a lotta us were raised to believe. Try setting a check-in time — one call when you leave, one when you head home. Stick to it. And invite her to plan a thing with your friends sometimes. Trust builds when both people feel safe, not policed. It took months, but they’re in a better place. You got this 💪

Is this control?

Key Takeaways

1 Answer

People Also Ask

Share your experience