We have been doing long distance for 8 months. In the beginning, we called every day, sometimes twice. Now it is maybe 2-3 times a week and the calls feel rushed. He says he is busy with work. I believe him, but the change in effort makes me anxious. Am I being too clingy, or is decreasing communication in LDR a warning sign?
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Alice Johnson
Some decrease in frequency is natural as the "honeymoon phase" of LDR settles. But there is a difference between "we found a sustainable rhythm" and "he is pulling away." The test: when you DO talk, is he present and engaged? Does he initiate sometimes? Does he make plans for the next visit? If the quality of calls is still good and he is proactive about the relationship, reduced frequency is probably just life happening. If the calls feel distracted AND infrequent, that is worth a direct conversation.
Anonymous
Had the exact same fear. Turns out my partner was dealing with burnout at work and was too exhausted to call, not too disinterested. But I only found this out because I asked directly: "I have noticed we talk less. I am not accusing you of anything — I just want to understand where you are at." His relief was palpable. If you assume the worst without asking, you fill in the blanks with your anxiety.
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