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Situationships

Is wanting more wrong after an arranged marriage?

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We’ve been married two years now. My parents picked him, and honestly, he’s not bad. Respectful, doesn’t yell, has a good job, never hits or insults me. But every day feels… flat. Like, we eat together, talk about household things, sometimes watch a movie, but there’s no spark. No one says ‘I miss you’ or holds my hand for no reason. I thought maybe it would grow, but it’s just… fine. Only. Sometimes I compare us to my brother and his wife — they laugh loud, fight, make up, go out just the two of them. I feel silly even saying this, but I miss feeling wanted. I don’t know if I’m asking for too much. Is it selfish to want my husband to *try* na? To notice me as his wife and not just the person who manages the home? I never thought I’d feel lonely with someone sleeping right next to me. Very very confusing only.

  • Arranged Marriage
  • Intimacy
  • loneliness

N
Asked by

Nisha Kapoor

10 rep
6 days ago
5 views
1 answer
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Key Takeaways

  • my cousin went through something similar — married for three years before they finally started really *talking*.

1 Answer

  1. 0

    L

    Lena Wagner

    0 rep
    6 days ago

    my cousin went through something similar — married for three years before they finally started really *talking*. not just bills and in-laws, but actual feelings. she told me she almost stayed silent forever because 'at least he’s not abusive' felt like it should be enough. but it wasn’t. and it’s not weak to want more. i started small with my husband — like, stupid small. left a note in his lunch. said 'i liked your shirt today' outta nowhere. felt awkward as hell lol. but he noticed. then i asked him to walk with me after dinner, no phone. we’d just stroll the block and i’d ask one tiny personal question. 'what made you sad this week?' or 'what song do you hate but secretly like?' it felt fake at first, but after a few weeks? he started reaching for my hand on the couch. not every day, but sometimes. now we have this dumb ritual where we share one weird thought before bed. you don’t gotta force love. but you can invite it in with little things. try one note. one walk. see what happens.

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