Live separate?

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Question

I'm really torn between my wife and my parents. We had an arranged marriage and I dont know how to handle this situation. My wife wants us to live separately from my parents, she says it's for our own privacy and future, but my parents are insisting we stay with them, they say it's our tradition and responsibility. I feel guilty itself when I think of leaving them, they've done so much for me. My wife is getting frustrated with me, she says I'm not taking her feelings into consideration. I love them both and cant seem to make a decision, it's affecting our relationship and I'm worried it might create more problems. I feel like I'm stuck in the middle and dont know what to do.

Frederick Goh · Answer

i been there man. my wife and i lived with my parents for 3 years after our arranged marriage and it nearly broke us. i thought staying was my duty — but truth is, it wore down everyone. my wife felt like a guest in her own home and my mom kept, well, mom-ing. it got tense.

what finally worked for us was setting a hard date to move out — 6 months away. gave my parents time to adjust, and we used that time to save a little, find a place nearby. we picked a house 10 minutes away so i could still check on them daily. my mom cried at first but now she visits us like it’s a treat — not a routine.

sit down with your wife, pick a date — even if its 8 months from now — and tell your parents together. you can respect tradition without living in it full time. and your marriage? it needs room to grow. dont let guilt steal that. 💪

Live separate?

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