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Long Distance

My boyfriend says therapy is 'not for us'

Honestly, it’s been so hard keeping things together from far away, and now this. He just doesn’t get why I need to talk about my feelings or why I see a therapist. Every time I mention it, he shuts it down. Says therapy is a Western thing, that we just pray and move on. I tried explaining how it helps me not feel so anxious all the time, but he called it ‘overthinking’ and said I should just distract myself. We’ve been together long long time, but now I feel more alone than ever. Last week, I broke down over a work thing—crying, couldn’t sleep—and when I called him, he said, ‘Babe, don’t gahol (drama) eh.’ Yes po, he actually said that. I love him, but I can’t keep pretending I’m okay when I’m not. I’m Filipino, he’s Canadian. I know there’s a culture gap, but this feels deeper. Am I asking too much to want someone who listens? Or is this just how it is?

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Anonymous

12 days ago

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Key Takeaways

my parents said therapy was for weak people too — took me years to realize it’s actually for people who wanna stay strong honestly i started sneaking to sessions cause i couldn’t take how small i felt anymore and once i began, i noticed little things — like how i stopped apologizing for taking up space you don’t have to convince him it’s valid — you already know it is what you do need is a plan because sitting with that loneliness too long?

1 Answer

D
Daniel Krishnan
5 rep
12 days ago
my parents said therapy was for weak people too — took me years to realize it’s actually for people who wanna stay strong honestly i started sneaking to sessions cause i couldn’t take how small i felt anymore and once i began, i noticed little things — like how i stopped apologizing for taking up space you don’t have to convince him it’s valid — you already know it is what you do need is a plan because sitting with that loneliness too long? it starts to feel normal and it shouldn’t be i keep a notes app on my phone where i dump everything spiraling in my head before i talk to him — helps me not expect him to fix my feelings like a quick band-aid instead i say 'hey i had a hard day and i just need to be heard' — no advice needed maybe try that — small shift in how you ask for support can change the whole tone last week i told my partner 'i’m not asking you to understand, i just need you to listen' and it changed everything—still not perfect but at least i don’t feel crazy anymore

My boyfriend says therapy is 'not for us'

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My boyfriend says therapy is 'not for us'

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