My in-laws hate me over an old relationship

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Question

Okay so this is kinda tearing me up… I dated someone seriously in college, like 5 years, and it ended totally clean no cheating or messiness but we lost touch after graduation. Never stayed friends or anything. Fast forward to now — I’m engaged to this amazing guy, we’re planning the wedding and his family seemed cool at first. Then outta nowhere his mom found an old photo of us on social media — I didn’t even know it was still up — and now they’re acting like I’ve been hiding some big secret. They’re saying I’m not trustworthy and bringing up how I “never mentioned” it like it’s some scandal. We talked about my past before we got engaged, my fiancé knows everything and doesn’t care. But his parents won’t let it go. They keep making passive-aggressive comments like “must’ve been hard to move on” and “you never know who’s really changed.” I didn’t think I had to broadcast my whole dating history to them? How far back do you gotta go? I love my fiancé and I didn’t do anything wrong but im starting to feel like maybe i messed up by not bringing it up myself… or is this just them being controlling? Feels like they’re trying to seperate us or something… idk what to even do anymore

Arjun Nair · Answer

My MIL once dug up a five-year-old beach pic of me and an ex—same situation, total meltdown. Honestly? People make huge deals out of nothing when they’re nervous about change… and a wedding makes families weird.

First—clean up your socials. I deleted old tagged photos and tightened privacy settings. Took 20 minutes and saved me so much stress. Not because I did anything wrong, but because it’s easier than arguing over pixels.

Then, I sat down with my fiancé and said: “Your mom’s upset. Let’s talk to her together.” We showed her our photo albums, talked about how long it’s been, how we’re all different people now… and slowly she backed off.

Key thing—I didn’t get defensive. I listened, even when it felt dumb. Sometimes they just want to feel like you’re open.

Also—have your fiancé talk to his mom. Not you, him. It means more when it comes from his side.

It’ll settle. It always does. But don’t wait for them to come around—take one small step now

My in-laws hate me over an old relationship

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