My wife and I disagree on how to raise our kids — it is tearing us apart

Q: My spouse wants an open marriage and I am devastated

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-spouse-wants-an-open-marriage-and-i-am-devastated

Q: My husband stopped talking to me after our baby was born

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-husband-stopped-talking-to-me-after-our-baby-was-born

Q: Is it normal to feel lonely in a marriage?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/is-it-normal-to-feel-lonely-in-a-marriage

Q: How do you keep the spark alive after 15 years of marriage?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-you-keep-the-spark-alive-after-15-years-of-marriage

Q: Why so cold?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/why-so-cold-r3dw76

Question

My wife wants to be very strict with structure, schedules, and discipline. I lean towards a more relaxed, child-led approach. Every parenting decision turns into a fight. Bedtime, screen time, diet — we cannot agree on anything. Our 5-year-old is starting to play us against each other. How do couples handle fundamental parenting disagreements without destroying the marriage?

Alice Johnson · Accepted Answer

You need a united front, even if you disagree behind closed doors. Kids are incredibly perceptive and will exploit inconsistencies. Try this: agree on 3-5 non-negotiable rules you both enforce, and give each other flexibility on the rest. For the big stuff, discuss before presenting to the child. A family therapist can mediate the recurring conflicts.

Iris Patel · Answer

Read "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" together. It bridges the strict vs. relaxed divide beautifully. Also: your kid playing you against each other is a symptom, not the problem. The problem is that you two are not communicating effectively about parenting values.

My wife and I disagree on how to raise our kids — it is tearing us apart

Key Takeaways

2 Answers

People Also Ask

Share your experience