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Family Conflict

My wife thinks therapy means you're broken

We've been married 8 years, and lately... it's like walking on eggshells. I raised it calmly last week — said maybe we should talk to someone, not because we're falling apart, but because we keep having the same fights about money, my mother, everything. She looked at me like I'd slapped her. Said only crazy people or weak ones go to therapists. Called it 'admitting failure.' I tried again, said it's not about blame, just understanding each other better. She shut down completely. Won't even hear it. My father would've said the same thing — that family problems stay in the family, and men don't talk to strangers about private things. But my mother suffered quietly her whole life. I dont want that for us. Is normal to feel this lonely when the person closest to you wont open up? I love her, but I'm starting to feel like I'm talking to a wall.

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Pavel Nikitin

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5 days ago

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My wife said the same thing.

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G
Gary Woo
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5 days ago
My wife said the same thing. Called it a scarlet letter for weak marriages. I finally stopped asking her to go with me and just started going alone. Weird thing? It helped anyway. I learned how to talk without setting her off, how to back off before things got nuclear. After a few weeks, I mentioned something my therapist said — framed it like, "this made me laugh, this thing about couples and money" — and she actually engaged. Took months before she came around, but she saw I wasnt falling apart, I was just... clearer. Maybe try that. Go yourself. Dont tell her youre going as some big move, just start. Youll feel less helpless, at least. And if she sees you handling things different, maybe shell get curious. My wife still wont go, but we talk better now. Thats enough for me for now

My wife thinks therapy means you're broken

Asked by

Pavel Nikitin

0 rep

5 days ago

5 views

1 answer

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Key Takeaways

My wife said the same thing.

1 Answer

G
Gary Woo
0 rep
5 days ago
My wife said the same thing. Called it a scarlet letter for weak marriages. I finally stopped asking her to go with me and just started going alone. Weird thing? It helped anyway. I learned how to talk without setting her off, how to back off before things got nuclear. After a few weeks, I mentioned something my therapist said — framed it like, "this made me laugh, this thing about couples and money" — and she actually engaged. Took months before she came around, but she saw I wasnt falling apart, I was just... clearer. Maybe try that. Go yourself. Dont tell her youre going as some big move, just start. Youll feel less helpless, at least. And if she sees you handling things different, maybe shell get curious. My wife still wont go, but we talk better now. Thats enough for me for now

My wife thinks therapy means you're broken

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My wife thinks therapy means you're broken

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