Not ready for relationship?

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Question

I'm really confused right now. I met this guy online and we've been talking for a few months. He said he loves me but he's not ready for a relationship and I don't get what that means. We are stuck between two worlds I guess because my family back in Pakistan is already setting me up with a girl and I feel bad saying no to them but at the same time I have feelings for this guy. He is a good man but his family would never approve of us being together. We talk every day and it feels like we have a connection but I don't know if I should just wait for him or move on. I feel like I'm living two separate lives

Takeshi Sato · Answer

i’ve been in a mess like this before and it sucked. my cousin was pushing me to meet someone back home while i was deep in texts with someone my family would’ve lost it over. "I love you but not ready" usually means they care but can’t handle the real-life fallout — trust me, i learned that the hard way.

it feels like you're cheating on both worlds, huh? but you’re not. you just owe it to yourself to pick one path. i waited too long to make a choice and ended up hurting everyone, including me.

ask him straight: "What would it take for you to be ready?" if the answer’s vague or it’s all "someday", that’s your sign.

and with your family — you don’t have to shut them down hard. just say you’re not in the right headspace right now.

but ngl, if he won’t step up, you gotta let that hope go. it’s exhausting loving someone who only shows up halfway.

silence speaks too

Not ready for relationship?

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