Only Son Pressure

Q: Stuck in a situationship for 2 years — how do I get out?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/stuck-in-a-situationship-for-2-years-how-do-i-get-out

Q: Can a friends-with-benefits situation ever turn into a real relationship?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/can-a-friends-with-benefits-situation-ever-turn-into-a-real-relationship

Q: Why do people say "I am not looking for anything serious" and then act like they are?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/why-do-people-say-i-am-not-looking-for-anything-serious-and-then-act-like-they-are

Q: Why won’t he call me his girlfriend in public?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/why-wont-he-call-me-his-girlfriend-in-public-7gtuds

Q: Married for love... was I wrong?

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Question

This life sha, being an only son is a big deal in my family and community, everyone's eyes are on me to carry on the family name and provide for my parents, and now that I'm in a serious relationship, I'm feeling the weight of that responsibility, my girlfriend is amazing but I didn't think about how being an only son would affect her, like the expectations from my family, they already want us to get married and have kids, and I know she's not ready for that, I feel like I'm stuck between making my family happy and being with the person I love, I didn't discuss all this with her before we got serious and now I don't know how to bring it up, I'm scared she'll feel overwhelmed and leave me, what do I do?

Anonymous · Answer

My cousin was in the same spot, only son, whole village watching his moves like he’s carrying the throne or something. I get it — the pressure’s real. But here’s what he told me after he almost messed up his relationship over it: you gotta talk, really talk, not just with your girlfriend but with your parents too. Like, sit them down and say hey, I love her, we’re moving at our pace. Took balls, yeah, but his dad finally backed off when he saw how serious he was about her happiness too.

So don’t just carry the name like it’s a sack on your back. Redefine what it means to be the son. Let your girl breathe, let yourself breathe. Plan with her — when you want marriage, kids, even how you’ll handle your parents. Write it down if it helps. And bring her into family convos early, so she feels like part of the team, not a target. I did that, and man, it changed everything. You got this.

Only Son Pressure

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