Parents found out about dating app, now what?

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Question

So me and this girl matched on Doveth about 2 months ago. Things is going good, we talk every night, even met twice. She’s kind, we laugh a lot, feels different from the usual rishtas my mom is pushing. But somehow my younger sister saw my phone and told Ma and Baba. Now they’re saying this isn’t a proper matrimonial site, that people on these apps only want one thing. Ma is crying, saying what will relatives think, that I’m breaking her heart. Baba won’t even look at me. They’re already checking biodatas for someone else. I told them we’re not doing anything wrong, that I actually like her, but he is not understanding my point. She is like this only — says it’s haram if it’s not through family first. But we didn’t do anything bad, just talking, getting close. Now I’m stuck. If I keep talking to her, family will make life hell. If I stop, I feel like I’m just becoming a robot doing what I’m told. What do I even do?

Anonymous · Answer

My parents freaked when they found out I was talking to my now-fiancé on Doveth too. Ma threw a chapati at the wall, legit. But here’s what worked: I sat them down with him on video call. Let them see he’s respectful, wears a watch to weddings, talks about his mom like a normal human. Didn’t defend the app — just showed them *him*. You don’t have to bring her home tomorrow, but maybe suggest a group dinner? Like, “she’s Muslim, does tahajjud, wants kids” — stuff that matters to them. My sister also snitched and it sucked, but Ma finally said, “If Allah brought you here, who am I to block it?” Took three weeks of begging, but they came around. Show them she’s halal in heart, not just profile pics. And tell Baba she doesn’t wear shorts. That part actually helped 😂

Parents found out about dating app, now what?

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