Said no to 30 marriage profiles – am I being too picky?

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Question

So my parents have been trying to set me up forever and last month they came at me with 30 profiles like it was some kind of arranged marriage speed round I’m not even joking 30 and I said no to every single one I know that sounds insane but hear me out – like one guy had the exact same photo as someone I saw on a dating app last year & it was so obvious he was just recycling pics another lived in Dubai but wanted someone to move there immediately no visits first which no thank you and most of them just felt… empty? Like no spark nothing I keep getting called selfish because I’m holding out for someone I actually connect with but tbh I just don’t see the point if I’m gonna be stuck in a long distance situation from day one with someone I don’t even like I get that love can grow but why start with zero? my cousin met her husband on Nibha Nibhi and they actually dated long distance first so it’s not like I’m against it I just want something real not a checklist of degrees and salaries I keep thinking maybe I’m expecting too much but also is it wrong to want to actually *like* the person?

Viktor Petrov · Answer

Okay first off, 30 profiles in a month? That’s not picky, that’s survival mode lol. My aunt tried the same thing last year — dumped like 25 profiles on me over WhatsApp, some with *zero* info, just a photo and “he’s stable.” I said no to all but one and even that felt rushed.

You’re not being picky — you’re being safe. That guy reusing a dating app pic? Red flag. The Dubai situation? Nah, no visits first? That’s not a relationship, that’s relocation hostage mode.

What helped me was taking control. Instead of saying yes/no to their list, I told my parents: “Let me meet 2 or 3 over coffee, whenever I’m ready.” Slowed it down. Made it human. And I set my own rules — like I’d only consider someone who’s willing to video chat first or meet in person without pressure.

You’re allowed to want basic respect. And clarity. And to not feel like a contestant on a game show. If a profile gives you even a little “meh” feeling . . . trust it. That’s your gut doing its job

Said no to 30 marriage profiles – am I being too picky?

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