She cries every time I set a boundary, then I apologise?

same bro. i was right where you were a year ago. my ex would cry the second i said anything that didn’t revolve around her, and i’d fold like a cheap lawn chair. it got to the point where i resented her… and myself for letting it happen. here’s what changed — i stopped apologising for having feelings. boundaries aren’t punishments. if she cries, let her. it’s not your job to fix her emotions every time they spill out. when she said i didn’t love her, i finally said “nah, love means i can tell you the truth without losing you.” start small. next time she reacts, just say “i hear you, but my mind’s made up” and don’t back down. no explaining, no negotiating. you don’t have to be harsh — just firm. it’ll suck at first. she might cry more, call you cold, whatever. but if you keep caving, you’re teaching her it works. and you’ll keep drowning. i know it feels brutal but… ngl, the first time i didn’t apologise for a boundary, it felt like i got myself back