She said she loved me then went cold...

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Question

We were talking every day for like two months. Started on that dating app, then moved to WhatsApp. She’s from Kyiv but living in Warsaw too — we even met for coffee twice, nothing wild just sitting in a cafe talking about books and stupid stuff like that. First time she said “I love you” I almost dropped my phone. I didn’t say it back right away... I waited. But then two days later she’s answering with one words. Now she doesn’t reply for three days. I asked if I did something wrong and she said “I just need space” — like that means anything. I’m not some teenager but this feels worse than when my ex left after the baby. My babusia always said “ne zminui sebe za kogo” — don’t change yourself for anyone. But I didn’t even change. I was just… me. Is this normal now? Or did I miss something huge? I keep checking my phone like an idiot. 😭

Anonymous · Answer

Happened to me two years ago — same city, even. She’d say sweet things late at night, then vanish for days. I kept texting, thinking silence meant I needed to try harder. Truth? She wasn’t ready to want someone the way I did. I wonder if you’re even asking her the right questions — like, what does love mean to her when it shows up and then disappears?

I stopped chasing. Gave space. Said only what I felt, no drama. Turned out she was dealing with stuff she hadn’t sorted. Not your job to fix it, but you can decide if you want to wait beside someone who keeps walking away.

My last message to her was just: 'Take care — I mean that.'

Sometimes silence after that is the answer

She said she loved me then went cold...

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