They feel more real than anyone here... what do I do?

Q: I emotionally cheated and I cannot forgive myself

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-emotionally-cheated-and-i-cannot-forgive-myself

Q: I found out my partner has a dating profile — we have been together for a year

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-found-out-my-partner-has-a-dating-profile-we-have-been-together-for-a-year

Q: How do you rebuild trust after your partner cheated?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-you-rebuild-trust-after-your-partner-cheated

Q: Can a relationship survive infidelity if both partners want it to?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/can-a-relationship-survive-infidelity-if-both-partners-want-it-to

Q: He promised to come back after 2 years… it's been 5

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/he-promised-to-come-back-after-2-years-its-been-5-t2m6tz

Question

I’ve been talking to this girl online for like 8 months now… she’s from Canada. We met on a book forum, of all things. At first, it was just talking about novels, then late-night voice calls, then… I don’t know. It got deep. She knows things about me—like, really knows me—stuff I haven’t even told my own family here. My parents keep setting me up with girls from the province, all ‘good Catholic girls’ who cook well and go to church every Sunday… which is fine, but it’s like that naman eh, no spark. With her, even though we’ve never met, it feels different. Stronger. But I’m scared. People here say if you look outside, you’re just running away or being unrealistic. And it’s not even about leaving… it’s that I actually feel seen, ha. Is that even fair to her? Or to the girls here who actually show up in person? I keep asking myself if I’m just choosing a dream over real life… But what if it *is* real? Just… far away?

Diego Gutierrez · Answer

I was in your shoes two years ago—met someone on a manga subreddit, ended up talking for hours every night. Felt like she got me in a way no one in my circle ever did... & honestly, it scared me. My tita kept saying 'kawawa naman yung girl sa Canada, pero what future?' and I hated how that sounded, but... ngl, it made me pause.

I get it—those deep talks, the safety of voice notes late at night, sharing things you can’t say out loud here—it builds something real. But I learned the hard way: feelings don’t pay for plane tickets, and time zones don’t care how much you miss someone.

I’m not saying cut her off. Just... start asking real questions. 'What happens in a year?' 'Can this ever be in-person?' Not to rush anything, but to see if she’s thinking ahead too. I waited too long to ask mine... and when she said she wasn’t ready to leave Toronto, it gutted me.

Be kind to yourself. You’re allowed to want both—a life here, and something real, even if it’s far.

They feel more real than anyone here... what do I do?

Key Takeaways

1 Answer

People Also Ask

Share your experience