We waited 3 months to meet up — now I'm not sure I want to

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Question

We kept talking about meeting in person for weeks. He’s in Hamburg, I’m in Munich. Every time I suggested a weekend, he had a work trip or family thing. Then last month his dad had surgery so he couldn’t leave. Finally two weeks ago we agreed on a date — Frankfurt, halfway, Saturday. I booked the train, paid €98. The night before, I just… didn’t want to go. Not angry, not upset. Just blank. Like the momentum died. I told him I needed a rain check. He asked if something was wrong. I said no, just tired. But it’s not that. I think during those three months of waiting, I convinced myself it didn’t matter. He hasn’t brought it up since. It’s been 8 days. I don’t know if I’m overthinking or if this is a sign.

Pablo Suárez · Answer

Ay, I get that blank feeling. Happened with me and this girl from Córdoba last year. We planned for weeks, same thing — dates canceled, reasons piled up. When the day finally came, I was on the bus and just… nada. No spark, no excitement. Called her from the station and said I couldn’t do it. She was quiet, then said: 'If it takes this much to meet me, maybe we’re forcing it.' And she was right.

Look, when the effort starts feeling heavier than the hope, pay attention. Three months of rescheduling wears you down, even if you don’t realize it. You’re not obligated to show up just because you bought a ticket. It’s a matter of respect — for your own time, your feelings.

My advice? Don’t reschedule again unless *both* of you are fully in it. Wait for a real yes, not just a not-no. In my family everyone knows everything, and even *they* said 'better alone than sorry.'

If you do meet, keep it light. Coffee, two hours, neutral spot. No grand gestures. See if the vibe comes easily. If not, let it go. 💪

We waited 3 months to meet up — now I'm not sure I want to

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