When they threaten to leave every fight, do they mean it?

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Question

Weve been together 5 years, married 2. Every time we argue — even small stuff like me working late or not calling — she says 'I cant do this anymore' or 'maybe we should just split'. Last time, she said it and went silent for 3 days. I was scared... didnt sleep. When she came back, she said she didnt mean it, just needed space. But it feels like a knife every time. My parents sacrificed so much for me to come here... I dont want to make him shame if I mess this up. She says Im too serious, but how can I not be? In our culture, marriage is for life. I try to fix things fast, buy flowers, say sorry even if I'm not sure what I did wrong... but then it happens again. I keep wondering — if she says it enough, will she start meaning it? Or am i just supposed to live with this fear?... I just want to know if Im being unreasonable for needing some stability. Or if this is a red flag I'm ignoring 🤦

Remi Olawale · Answer

I've been in similair situations, my ex used to say stuff like that alot. Honestly, it's definately not okay, it feels like emotional blackmail. I think you should talk to her about how her words affect you, dont let her brush it off. You deserve respect in a relationship, dont be afriad to stand up for yourself. I had to learn to set boundries & communicate my feelings clearly. It's not about being too serious, it's about being heard. You need to decide if this is somthing you can live with, or if it's time to re-evaluate the relationship. I'm still working through my own issues, but I know I deserve better

When they threaten to leave every fight, do they mean it?

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