Why do I feel lonelier now than when I was single?

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Question

I don’t get it. We’ve been married for three years and honestly I felt more connected to people when I was single. I texted friends all the time went out for coffee laughed about dumb stuff. Now I just sit on the couch after work while he’s on his phone and I feel… invisible. It’s not that he’s mean or anything he brings home the paycheck tries on weekends sometimes. But we don’t talk. Like really talk. I tried bringing up therapy he said “we’re fine” and changed the subject. Last week I cried in the driveway because I didn’t want to go inside to another quiet night. I know I should be happy. My mom keeps saying “you wanted marriage now enjoy it” like that’s supposed to fix everything. But I feel stuck. Is it him? Is it me? I thought marriage was supposed to make you feel less alone not more. I miss feeling seen. I miss having someone notice when I’m quiet or wear a new haircut. He didn’t even notice I dyed my hair until his sister mentioned it at dinner. It’s little things like that that just… pile up 😭

Sienna Taylor · Answer

i went thru something similiar in my own marriage and it was really tough. my husband and i were just existing together, not really connecting. what helped us was setting aside device free time every day, even if its just 30 minutes, to actually talk and catch up. dont be afraid to bring it up again with your husband, maybe try framing it as something thats affecting you personally rather than accusing him of being distant. and honestly, if he still doesnt want to go to therapy, consider going by yourself - it can really help you figure out whats going on and how to communicate your needs better

Why do I feel lonelier now than when I was single?

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