Why do I feel so alone when I'm not even single?

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Question

i dont get it   we have two kids and share a bed but i feel like im raising them alone. my husband’s home every night but he’s glued to his phone or says he’s too tired to talk. last week i cried in the kitchen and he just asked if dinner was ready. no “you okay?” no hug nothing.

we used to talk about everything but now it’s all logistics. diapers   school pickup   who’s paying the bill. even when we argue it’s about the kids not us. i brought it up once and he said “i’m here aren’t i?” like physical presence is enough.

i keep thinking maybe i’m being ungrateful. at least he’s not cheating or drinking or gone all the time but why does it still feel like i’m doing this alone. i miss feeling seen. i miss having someone to vent to who actually listens. now i just bottle it up till i snap at the kids over stupid stuff like spilled milk.

i dont want to be that bitter mom   you know the one who resents her family while trying to hold it together. but i’m scared i’m already becoming her. what do i even do when the person who’s supposed to be my partner feels like a roommate with joint custody

Zara Mohammed · Answer

i've been in your shoes and it's a really tough spot to be in. like, you're not single but you feel so alone. my husband used to be the same way, always on his phone or too tired to talk. i felt like i was raising our kid by myself too. so i started small, i'd put my hand on his arm when we were watching tv or something and just look at him till he looked back at me. it sounds silly but it worked, he started putting his phone down and we'd talk about our day. i also told him how i felt, not when we were arguing or anything, just when we were chillin. i said something like 'hey, i feel really alone when you're on your phone all the time' and he actually listened... we started making time for just us, no kids, no tv, just us. it's not perfect but it's better

Why do I feel so alone when I'm not even single?

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