Why does she cry when I set a boundary?

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Question

Every time I say I need space or can’t do something—like last night when I said I didn’t want to go to her sister’s again on Sunday because I had plans with my brother—she starts crying, says I don’t care, that I’m pulling away, and then I end up apologizing even though I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s like I’m being punished for having a thought of my own, and after a while it just feels easier to give in than to explain myself over and over, but then I’m resentful and she still doesn’t trust me, and I don’t know how we fix this if every small thing turns into a crisis, especially since my parents always said marriage means standing strong together but this feels more like walking on eggshells and I’m tired of apologizing for existing 😭

Renato Llanes · Answer

I've been in your shoes before, my wife always wants me to give in to her demands, like moving to the city, but I stand firm. It's like that naman eh, they want their way. Hay naku, I told her already, I need my space, my time to fish, but she still gets upset. What I do is I explain my side calmly, and I make sure to listen to hers too, then we find a compromise. You should try that, don't give in just because she's crying, but also don't ignore her feelings. I told my wife I need space, and she's learning to respect that already, it's not easy, but it's worth it.

Why does she cry when I set a boundary?

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