Why won’t he commit after 7 years?

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Question

we’ve been together since college me 22 him 21 back then everybody was like oh y’all so cute gonna get married next thing you know 7 years fly by and every time i bring up a ring or even just a date he says not the right time money’s tight the dog’s sick one time he said his plant needed repotting like come on. my mama keeps asking when she gonna get to plan a wedding and i just smile and change the subject but it’s eatin at me. my cousin married same dude 6 years no ring either but they adopted a baby so people act like that’s just as good but i want the paper the party the whole thing. sometimes i wonder if he just don’t want me that way or if he scared or what. we talk about everything except this and when i push he shuts down completely. last week i said maybe we should think about splitting up just to see how he react and he laughed like it was a joke. i don’t even know if i wanna leave but i need to know where i stand you feel me. am i asking too much

Segun Akinola · Answer

I was in a similar situation with my ex, we were together for 5 years and every time I brought up commitment he'd say something about not being ready, so I got tired of waiting and had a real talk with him, ngl it was scary but it made me realize he just wasn't on the same page as me, like we wanted different things and that's okay, but you can't keep waiting around for someone to be ready when you're already there, so I'd say have a real conversation with him, no more beating around the bush, ask him what's really going on and if he can see a future with you, because 7 years is a long time to be waiting for a maybe

Why won’t he commit after 7 years?

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