Why wont he talk?

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Question

I've been with my husband for like 5 years now and we've had our ups and downs. He's british and I think thats part of the problem, they dont really talk about thier feelings or anything. We were at my sisters wedding last weekend and he just blew up at me out of nowhere, I was totally caught off guard. I had no idea what was wrong, he just said I was being really annoying and that I needed to calm down. lol I was pretty calm, I dont know what his problem was. We didnt even talk about it after, he just went to sleep and didnt say a word to me till the next morning. I feel like we're seperate people or something, I dont know how to get him to open up to me. I've tried talking to him about it but he just says everythings fine and that I'm overreacting. I'm really worried that he's hiding something from me, maybe even cheating or something. Idk what to do, I feel like I'm going crazy

Grace Mwangi · Answer

My husband’s British too and yeah it took me years to figure him out. He doesn’t get loud or dramatic — when he’s upset he just shuts down or snaps out of nowhere. I used to think he was just being cold but honestly it’s more like he doesn’t know how to say what’s wrong.

After a blow-up like that I’ve found it helps to wait a day or two then bring it up *without* the blame thing. Like instead of 'why’d you yell at me' try 'hey that moment at the wedding felt rough — wanna talk about what was going on for you' give him room to back into it.

I started doing this after we fought at my mom’s birthday and he didn’t speak to me for three days... ugh. But when I finally asked calmly he admitted he felt overwhelmed by all the people and judged for not drinking. Never would’ve guessed

Maybe grab a coffee together this weekend and bring it up light. He might not open up right away but keep the door open

Why wont he talk?

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