Always Compromising

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Q: Learning to love myself before loving someone else — is that real advice or a cliche?

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Question

The thing is, my partner says I'm the love of his life, but I feel like I'm always the one giving in. We live in my hometown, which he finds suffocating, but it's where my family is and I couldn't imagine leaving them. The thing is, his mother doesn't approve of me, she thinks I'm holding him back from his career in Paris. My mother is always telling me to be understanding and patient, but it's hard when I feel like I'm losing myself in the process. We've been together for 5 years and I love him, but I'm starting to feel like I'm just an accessory to his life, not a partner. The thing is, I want to feel like we're in this together, not just me constantly compromising for his happiness.

Clara Fischer · Answer

I've been in a similar situation, my partner wanted to move to Berlin but I had a good job in Munich, so we compromised and stayed in Munich. On the one hand, it was great for my career, on the other hand, he had to start over. What I learned is that compromise is a two-way street, you can't always be the one giving in. Have an open talk with your partner about how you feel, in Germany we value directness and honesty, so be clear about your needs and boundaries. You deserve to feel seen and heard in your relationship, don't lose yourself in the process 💪

Always Compromising

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