Did I leave love for excitement and mess up?
So I ended things with my ex after 4 years — he was kind, steady, always put in effort. Never raised his voice even when I was being unfair. We talked about moving in together last winter and he started looking at places with two offices because I work from home. He has done this 14 times in 3 months — small, thoughtful things like that. But I felt safe, maybe too safe? Then I met someone new at a friend’s summer cabin. Total spark. Felt alive again, you know? She laughs loud and says whatever she thinks — wild card energy. Broke up with my ex to try something real with her. Now we’ve been seeing each other 5 months and it’s all highs and lows, shouting matches after drinks, making up like it's the first time every time. But I keep thinking about my ex — how calm everything was. Now I’m lonely in the middle of this chaos and wonder if I traded something real for a feeling. My sis said — you don’t leave water for fire, water keeps you alive. Idk. Maybe I just miss stability. Or maybe I’m scared of passion because it’s unfamiliar. But why do I feel so guilty when I know I didn’t do anything wrong?
Anonymous