Always Compromising

Q: I keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners — how do I break the pattern?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/i-keep-choosing-emotionally-unavailable-partners-how-do-i-break-the-pattern

Q: How do I stop being codependent in relationships?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-i-stop-being-codependent-in-relationships

Q: How do you heal from emotional abuse when the abuser was your parent?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-you-heal-from-emotional-abuse-when-the-abuser-was-your-parent

Q: Learning to love myself before loving someone else — is that real advice or a cliche?

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/learning-to-love-myself-before-loving-someone-else-is-that-real-advice-or-a-cliche

Q: Did I leave love for excitement and mess up?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/did-i-leave-love-for-excitement-and-mess-up-o06f3i

Question

I've been dating this guy for a few months now and he says I'm the love of his life which is sweet but honestly it's getting kinda old hearing it when I'm always the one giving in. Like last weekend he wanted to go to his friends BBQ and I didnt really feel like it but I went anyway because he said it would mean a lot to him. Then the next day I wanted to try out this new brunch spot and he just shrugged it off saying he wasnt hungry. It feels like everything is about what he wants and I'm just along for the ride. I'm starting to feel like I'm losing myself in this relationship 🤦

Remi Olawale · Answer

Aunty told me before my wedding, 'Marriage no be only for raining love words, it must balance like plate on head.' I thought she was just talking because she’s old but after my first year with Tunde—him that always wants football on TV even when I’m cooking something special—I realized sweet talk mean nothing if both foot no dey on same ground. You know when I started saying no? When I told him straight: 'If I go for your friend’s BBQ, then this brunch better be mine o.' And I stayed firm. First time he complained but we went. Second time? He even suggested we invite his mum along to make it nice 😂 Look, love supposed to stretch both person—not just you bending until you snap. If he say you’re the one, let him show it with action, not just mouth. God when? The day you start choosing yourself a little more.

Always Compromising

Key Takeaways

1 Answer

People Also Ask

Share your experience