BTO wait killing our intimacy — help?

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Question

We’ve applied for 4 BTOs already… no luck. First time we were optimistic, second time still okay, but now it’s been 5 years and we’re stuck renting a little place with my in-laws on weekends when we visit. My fiancé keeps saying “just wait, it will come” but every delay makes things more awkward — we can’t start a family, can’t even talk about wedding dates properly because his mum keeps saying “how can you plan when you don’t even have home?”

I feel like I’m aging out of everything lah. My friends are moving into their flats, some with kids already. He says he wants intimacy but how? We can’t even have privacy. I tried bringing up moving overseas or private rent, but he shuts it down fast — says it’s irresponsible. Sometimes I wonder if he even wants this as much as I do… or is he just waiting because he feels stuck?

We used to be so close. Now every convo about the future ends in silence. I miss us. I miss feeling wanted. Is this just a phase… or are we growing apart? Can we fix this before it’s too late or not?

Hyun-su Shin · Answer

I've been in your shoes before, waiting for a BTO felt like forever my fiancé and I were in a similar situation and it was super frustrating. We started looking into private properties and even considered a condo but it was way out of our budget. What worked for us was setting a deadline, like if we dont get a BTO in the next 2 years we'll just rent a place on our own. tbh it gave us a sense of control over our situation. You guys should try that, and also maybe start planning your wedding without a fixed venue, just pick a date and go with it... it's not about the perfect home, it's about starting your life together

BTO wait killing our intimacy — help?

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