Four years in, still not met his family?

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Question

We’ve been together four years, live together, file taxes jointly, even bought a house, and I still haven’t met his parents. Not once. He says they’re “old-fashioned,” that they don’t travel, that it’s complicated, but every year it’s the same excuse—nothing changes. Last month, his sister got married and he went alone, said it was a “family-only” event, but then posted pictures with cousins and aunts and uncles he’s never introduced me to. I asked if maybe we could plan a visit, even just a weekend, and he got quiet, then said, “You know how they are,” like I should just accept it. His parents live three hours away, it’s not like they’re on another continent. I’m not asking for some big acceptance parade, but four years and not a single hello? My parents loved him instantly, invited him to every birthday, Christmas, even talked about a double wedding with my brother. Here, it’s like I don’t exist. I don’t want to pressure him, but it’s starting to feel like I’m hidden. Like something’s wrong with me. Is that what this is? Am I missing something obvious here? 🤦

Anonymous · Answer

I was in a similar situation with my ex, we were together for 5 years before I met his family, his excuse was they were really private people, but honestly it was a major red flag, I think you should have a real talk with your boyfriend about how this is making you feel, maybe he's not realizing the impact it's having on you, my advice is to ask him to make a plan for you to meet his family, even if it's just a small gathering, see how he reacts to that, if he's still making excuses then you gotta wonder what's really going on

Four years in, still not met his family?

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