He's perfect on paper but I'm not feeling it?

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Question

So we've been together 8 months, engaged now. On paper? Dude is golden — stable job, treats me decent, no crazy ex drama, checks every box my mom keeps texting me about 😂. But every time he touches me — even just hugging — my body tenses up. Like my gut’s screaming but I can’t name why. We talk, he asks the right questions, remembers my trauma, says all the right things… but it feels like he's reading from a script. Last week we tried getting intimate and I just froze — like full shutdown. He backed off, gave me space, said he wants me to feel safe. Which is… perfect? But why don’t I feel safe with someone who’s doing everything right? My cousin said maybe it’s me — maybe I’m letting the past mess with something good. But it don’t feel like fear of intimacy. Feels like… he’s hiding something? Or maybe I am? idk. I love how he treats me but I don’t *desire* him. Not emotionally, not physically. Is that enough to walk away from a ‘good man’?

Hugo Laurent · Answer

the thing is, i've been in your shoes before and it's a really tough spot to be in. love is not love without passion, and if you're not feeling that spark, it's hard to keep going. for me, it's always been about the intensity of the connection, the way someone makes me feel alive. when that's missing, everything else feels like just going through the motions. i'd suggest taking some time to reflect on what you really want from a relationship, and don't be afraid to have some tough conversations with your partner. 💪

He's perfect on paper but I'm not feeling it?

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