How did a flat decide our future?

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Question

We almost broke up over which BTO to apply for. I know it sounds ridiculous — house, just a house right? But it got so ugly. He wanted the 4-room near his parents in Tampines. I wanted the 3-room in Clementi, closer to my sister and the kids’ school. He said I was being difficult, that family comes first. I said I’m trying to think of our family too — our immediate one. But he looked at me like I didn’t get it. Said I’ve changed since the kids. Maybe I have. I’m the one doing school runs, packing lunch, up every night with the baby. Feels like I don’t get to want anything for myself anymore. When I pushed back, he said maybe we shouldn’t do this — not just the flat, but everything. Like, full breakup threat liddat. I was shocked. We didn’t talk for two days. Ended up applying for the Tampines one. Dunno if I did it to save us… or just because I’m tired. Now I keep wondering — if he can’t see my side on this, what else won’t he see? Confirm don’t want to be alone, but this feels lonely too. 💔

Megan Griffiths · Answer

So we had a similar thing happen with my hubby and I, we were looking at condos and I wanted one near my work and he wanted one near his gym, ngl it got pretty heated. Like, I get that it's just a house but it feels like your whole life is gonna be affected by this one decision. What worked for us was making a list of pros and cons for each place and then discussing it when we were both calm. We also had to remind ourselves that we're a team and we're in this together, so it's not about winning or losing, it's about finding something that works for both of us. Maybe try doing that with your partner and see if it helps?

How did a flat decide our future?

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