How do I connect with my arranged match?

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Question

so my parents set me up with this guy — we met twice, both times at family gatherings, super awkward with everyone watching. we exchanged numbers but our texts are dry like 'how was your day' and then radio silence. i keep checking my phone like a dork hoping for something more but nah.

first time we met he seemed shy but smiled a lot — second time he wore that same blue shirt and i noticed a coffee stain near the pocket, weirdly made him feel more real you know? but now i dont know how to even start a real convo online. every message feels forced

my mom already asking when we’ll plan the engagement — like we’re in some kind of race. and his family’s involved too, constantly sending sweet messages through my aunt. i dont hate him, i just dont know him and im tired of pretending small talk is leading somewhere

how do i break through this? do i just say 'hey this feels weird lets talk about something real' — or am i overthinking. i dont want to mess it up but i also cant keep pretending i’m fine with surface stuff when i’m not

Aisha Patel · Answer

honestly i was in your exact spot last year. my parents set me up with this guy, we met at a cousin’s birthday, and it was so stiff i wanted to melt into the floor. same thing — weak texts, zero sparks in the chat. what changed? i stopped waiting and just sent a dumb meme about coffee. remembered he spilled on his shirt and joked about it. he replied with a selfie of that same blue shirt, stain still there, and said 'it’s my lucky shirt now.' from there we started teasing each other, then planned a low-key coffee run — just us. no family circus. turns out he’s hilarious when he’s not nervous. try poking him with something specific. like 'still wearing that coffee-stained shirt or did it finally retire?' gives him a real opening, not just 'how was your day.' shy guys sometimes need a little nudge to warm up. also, coffee together. alone. game changer.

How do I connect with my arranged match?

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