How do I find real love when everyone just wants fun?

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Question

i’ve been on like 15 dating apps over the past two years & i’m so over it. last weekend i went out with this guy i matched with — he was a Gemini, which my friend said was a red flag but i didn’t care, he seemed different. we hit it off, laughed all night, even talked about how we both hate how everyone is just sleeping around. then the next morning he ghosted. again. like why even pretend if you’re not looking for anything real?

i’m 28 now and i just want someone to build with not just hook up and disappear. my sister got engaged last month and her fiancé flew to meet her parents & everything — that’s what i want, not this endless cycle of chemistry that goes nowhere.

i keep hearing people talk about zodiac compatibility like it means something but honestly at this point i think it’s all just luck. i don’t even know how to act anymore — if i say i want commitment early on they bolt, if i play it cool i end up in another dead-end situation.

my mom keeps asking if i’ve met anyone “serious” and i just change the subject because what do i say?

i don’t want to be bitter but i’m tired

Ethan Brooks · Answer

Ugh i felt that in my soul. i was in the same spot a few years ago — burned out on apps matches that went nowhere. i kept lowering my standards just to feel seen but it only made me more lonely. what changed for me? i deleted every app & gave myself a break. no dating for 3 months. instead i started going to the same coffee shop every weekend same time joined a beginner’s pottery class (lol) & actually hung out with friends without checking my phone. weird thing? that’s when real connections started showing up. not because i was trying but because i wasn’t desperate. also i stopped trusting zodiac signs tbh — no offense to Geminis but if someone matches you & says they hate hookups but ghosts the next day they’re just bad at self-awareness. you don’t need more apps you need fewer random matches & more real moments. try meeting people through shared activities not swiping. it’s slower but what you build actually sticks.

How do I find real love when everyone just wants fun?

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