How do I let go when the good times won’t let me?
We met at a family gathering years ago and at first everything felt like a dream she made me feel seen in a way no one had before and yes I know I shouldn’t have married her while still with my first wife but it happened and now I’m stuck. The past year has been hard—fights over little things she accuses me of not being present but I’ve given so much trying to balance things quietly so no one gets hurt. Last week she told me if I don’t choose her she’ll walk away. And still I can’t move. Every time I say I’m done I remember how she laughed that night under the stars when we skipped dinner just to talk. She looks at me a certain way sometimes and it pulls me back like a rope around my chest. I lie awake wondering if it’s fair to either of us. My family expects stability I can’t just vanish but the guilt is eating me. I don’t know if I’m holding on because I love her or because I’m scared to face what comes after letting go... we’ve stopped touching in ways that mean something and that scares me most of all