How do I make this arranged marriage feel real?
We’ve been married for six months now, but we’ve only met in person twice. My parents chose her, and I didn’t say no because… well, you know how it is. They’re my elders, and I respect that. Alhamdulillah, she’s kind, sends me long voice notes every night, and always asks about my mom’s health. But I feel like I’m pretending sometimes. Like, I want to care, but it’s hard when every conversation feels polite and rehearsed. I keep wondering—am I supposed to just wait until we’re in the same country? She’s still in Lahore finishing her degree, I’m here in Leeds struggling through winter and loneliness. Last week she asked if I dream about our future and I didn’t know what to say. I do… but it’s not like in the films. It’s quiet. Distant. Sometimes I think she’s waiting for me to fall in love first. But how do you force that? What if I never do? What if she deserves someone who just… *knows*?