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Self Growth

How do I stop feeling like a guest in my own home?

So my husband and I have been married for three years and we live with his mom, which we agreed on at the beginning because of finances. But honestly? I feel like I'm walking on eggshells 24/7. His mom calls the shots on everything—what's for dinner, when the AC gets turned on, even what time we go to bed. Like last week, I invited my sister over for the first time in months and his mom gave me this look and said, 'You could’ve asked first,' even though it’s *our* living room. My husband just brushes it off. Says she’s just 'old school' and I need to 'be patient.' But when I tried talking about moving out, he shut it down fast. Said I was being unfair and that she’d be heartbroken. It’s like no matter what, I’m the bad guy. I’m starting to feel invisible. I love him, but I can’t keep living like this. I’ve been thinking about coming out to my family about being bi too, but how do I even do that with her watching my every move? And yes, I checked our zodiac compatibility (we’re both earth signs, supposedly super compatible) but right now it feels like that means nothing. How do I stand up for myself without losing him?

Asked by

Leila Benali

15 rep

16 days ago

12 views

1 answer

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Key Takeaways

ugh i lived this for two years and it sucked hard.

1 Answer

I
Isabella Rossi
60 rep
16 days ago
ugh i lived this for two years and it sucked hard. my MIL moved in after we got married and suddenly it wasn’t our house anymore. the turning point for me was when i finally told my husband i wasn’t asking for permission to invite my mom over. i said 'we need to treat this like our home or i’m not staying.' harsh? maybe. but it got his attention. what helped was setting one boundary at a time. started small—i just started cooking what *i* wanted for dinner and didn’t ask. then i left my laundry in the basket in the living room (lol petty but it felt defiant). when MIL said something i smiled and said 'oh this is easier for me' and kept going. you and your husband need a united front. have him talk to his mom—not about her being wrong but about you two needing space to feel like a couple. maybe suggest a chore chart or shared calendar so decisions aren’t all on her. and if he won’t step up you gotta decide how long you’re okay feeling like a guest in your own life

How do I stop feeling like a guest in my own home?

Asked by

Leila Benali

15 rep

16 days ago

12 views

1 answer

Get Notified

Want to know what others say? Get new answers in your inbox — no account needed.

Your email is only used for this notification. We won't spam you.

Key Takeaways

ugh i lived this for two years and it sucked hard.

1 Answer

I
Isabella Rossi
60 rep
16 days ago
ugh i lived this for two years and it sucked hard. my MIL moved in after we got married and suddenly it wasn’t our house anymore. the turning point for me was when i finally told my husband i wasn’t asking for permission to invite my mom over. i said 'we need to treat this like our home or i’m not staying.' harsh? maybe. but it got his attention. what helped was setting one boundary at a time. started small—i just started cooking what *i* wanted for dinner and didn’t ask. then i left my laundry in the basket in the living room (lol petty but it felt defiant). when MIL said something i smiled and said 'oh this is easier for me' and kept going. you and your husband need a united front. have him talk to his mom—not about her being wrong but about you two needing space to feel like a couple. maybe suggest a chore chart or shared calendar so decisions aren’t all on her. and if he won’t step up you gotta decide how long you’re okay feeling like a guest in your own life

How do I stop feeling like a guest in my own home?

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How do I stop feeling like a guest in my own home?

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