I left everything for him and now I’m empty

Q: how do we adopt when our families won’t support us?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-we-adopt-when-our-families-wont-support-us-wguhcf

Q: She says she loves me but wont commit

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/she-says-she-loves-me-but-wont-commit-33tkzu

Q: Why keep delaying marriage after 5 years?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/why-keep-delaying-marriage-after-5-years-zryxsz

Q: He’s at war and I’m falling apart

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/hes-at-war-and-im-falling-apart-90nxw9

Q: Send money home?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/send-money-home-bb8c82

Question

I moved across the world for my boyfriend two years ago. Left my family, my best friends, even my dog with my sister because I thought love was enough. At first it was amazing, we were always touching, talking, planning a life. But slowly he pulled back. We barely have sex now and when we do it feels like he’s somewhere else. I don’t know anyone here. I tried making friends but it’s hard when you’re 32 and everyone’s in couples or already settled. I applied for jobs but my visa’s tied to him so I can’t work legally. I feel stuck. I made him my whole world and now I don’t even feel like part of it. He says I’m “clingy” when I bring up how lonely I am. Last week I cried and he just said I should “go for a walk and clear my head.” Like that fixes everything. I miss who I was before I packed up my life for someone else’s. Sometimes I wonder if he even sees me anymore or just the version of me that moved here to be with him. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do I thought i was proving my love but now it just feels like i disappeared

Omar Hassan · Answer

Moving for love sounds so romantic until you’re sitting in a too-quiet apartment wondering where you went. I did the same thing — quit my job, left my city, followed my partner to Berlin. For six months I was all smiles. Then the loneliness hit like a truck.

First thing I did that actually helped? I picked one tiny thing I used to love and brought it back. For me it was pottery. Found a beginner class — just once a week. Didn’t even matter if people were friendly, just being *around* people doing something *I* chose helped me remember who I was outside of us.

Also — your visa situation? Yeah that’s a knot. But some countries let you work part-time on partner visas. Look up the exact rules. I didn’t realize I could freelance till I stumbled on a forum.

And hey — him being checked out? That’s not on you. I thought I was broken when my partner got distant. Turned out he was dealing with depression and never said a word. We both just… drifted.

One step: find one thing that’s yours. Not his, not “our” thing. Yours. Even if it’s just a coffee shop where they know your order.

lol, mine started with croissants

I left everything for him and now I’m empty

Key Takeaways

1 Answer

People Also Ask

Share your experience