Love isn't enough when lives don't match?

Q: My spouse wants an open marriage and I am devastated

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Q: My husband stopped talking to me after our baby was born

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Q: Is it normal to feel lonely in a marriage?

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Q: How do you keep the spark alive after 15 years of marriage?

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Q: My wife and I disagree on how to raise our kids — it is tearing us apart

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Question

We’ve been together 3 years and I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s kind patient loves his family same as me. But here’s the thing he wants to move to Canada start fresh live near his cousin. I need to stay close to my parents they’re getting older and my brother’s already in France. My family also expects me to marry someone from here someone who prays regularly speaks Arabic fluently. He’s agnostic his French is better than his Arabic and he doesn’t want kids I do. Look I’ve tried to see if we can meet halfway but he says this is who he is and I say same for me. It’s not that we don’t care we do deeply but every time we talk about the future it ends with silence or tears. I keep thinking if you love someone enough you make it work but what if wanting different things isn’t about love but about life? My aunts all say marriage means sacrifice but I’m scared I’ll regret losing myself

Anonymous · Answer

i was in a situation kinda like this with my ex. stayed together way too long pretending stuff didn’t matter. we wanted different things, same as you—me with family roots, him chasing cities, no kids, different beliefs. i thought love would somehow fix the logistics. it didn’t. ended up resenting little things that didn’t used to bother me.

what helped me was writing a list: five things i absolutely need in my life (not wants—needs). then i checked how many he fit. got two. that stung, but it was clear.

you don’t have to decide today. but try this: imagine yourself at 40, living in canada, no kids, drifting from your family’s rhythm. how does that feel in your chest? then flip it—him staying here, going to weddings, making small talk in arabic, sitting through prayers. can he really do that daily? without resented building?

peace isn’t in sacrificing yourself or making him pretend.

i moved on. found someone who walks the same direction. weird how that works lol

Love isn't enough when lives don't match?

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