She cries every time I set a boundary, then I cave
Every time I try to say no to something—like visiting her parents again on weekends or not checking her phone—she bursts into tears. Like full-on sobbing, can't breathe, says I don’t love her anymore. Last week I told her I needed space to think after a fight, and she locked herself in the bathroom. I ended up saying sorry just to stop the crying, even though I didn’t do anything wrong. It’s exhausting. I grew up hearing 'don’t cause conflict'—since our society values harmony so much—but this feels different. I’m scared if I keep giving in, I’ll just disappear. And her family already thinks I’m not good enough for her (Skype grad, not Seoul National), so I feel like I have to prove I’m trying. But trying at what cost? I don’t want to be one of those guys who loses himself, but I also can’t stand seeing her so broken every time I speak up. What do I do when setting a boundary feels like breaking her?