Should I give up my career for his parents?
we’ve been together 3 years & he just dropped this on me last week — wants me to quit my job & move to his hometown to take care of his parents. says it’s filial piety & that if i really love him, i’ll do it. i’m 29, finally building my career in graphic design, & honestly… i feel gutted. his parents live 4 hrs away, don’t speak english well, & i barely know them. he says they’re getting older & “it’s my duty now.” but it’s not my family, you know? i care about him, but this feels like a bridge too far. i tried talking about alternatives — hiring a helper, visiting more, paying for support — but he won’t budge. says no one can care like family. i get it, kinda, but why me? why does it have to be me giving up everything? i love him, but i don’t know if i can lose myself like that. am i being selfish? or is this a red flag? we’re both avoidant, honestly, so we never fight but we also never resolve stuff. now i’m just sitting here feeling stuck & scared to even bring it up again.
Anonymous