Who am I without my ex?

Q: My spouse wants an open marriage and I am devastated

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-spouse-wants-an-open-marriage-and-i-am-devastated

Q: My husband stopped talking to me after our baby was born

This question has 2 answers from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/my-husband-stopped-talking-to-me-after-our-baby-was-born

Q: Is it normal to feel lonely in a marriage?

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Q: How do you keep the spark alive after 15 years of marriage?

This question has 1 answer from the Doveth community. Read more at https://doveth.com/questions/how-do-you-keep-the-spark-alive-after-15-years-of-marriage

Q: My wife and I disagree on how to raise our kids — it is tearing us apart

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Question

i was with my girlfriend for 4 years and we lived together most of that time. we both said we were saving ourselves for marriage but then we kept making exceptions and it just felt wrong every time. i kept thinking God was disappointed in me and i’d pray for forgiveness but then i’d do it again. my family always assumed we’d get married and i think i stayed mostly because of that pressure plus i didn’t want to admit i’d been wrong. she finally ended it last month and now i feel so lost. like i don’t even know what i want anymore. i thought i was building a life with her but now it feels like i was just trying to fit into what everyone expected. i can’t tell if i’m sad about losing her or just scared to be alone and judged. my mom keeps asking when i’ll find someone new like i’m a failure if i’m not in a relationship. i just need to figure out who i am on my own but i don’t even know where to start 😭

Luke Fernandez · Answer

breakups can be very the tough, especially when you've been together for so long. for me, when my last relationship ended, i felt lost too, liddat like a part of me was missing. but what helped me was taking time to focus on myself, doing things i loved but never had time for when i was in a relationship. try picking up a new hobby or spending more time with friends and family, dunno, just do something that makes you happy. and honestly, it's okay to not be okay, it's a process to figure out who you are without your ex, but you will get there, just give yourself time

Who am I without my ex?

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