why do people just disappear online?

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Question

so i’ve been on hinge and bumble for like 6 months now, trying to put myself out there after a long dry spell. met a few people, even went on 4 or 5 actual dates. seemed like there was a connection with this one guy—cute, funny, talked about future stuff like weekend trips and his love language is quality time which… same. we texted every day for two weeks, made plans to meet up again, then boom. nothing. not a word. i sent a light “hey still on for saturday?” and it’s been radio silence for 8 days.

it’s not the first time this happened. like… am i coming on too strong? too quiet? i’m in a joint family setup, so i can’t just bring someone home whenever, but i thought i was being clear about my situation. maybe they get weirded out by that? or maybe people just don’t want real connections anymore. i keep wondering if i’m sending the wrong signals… or if i should just accept that ghosting’s just part of the game now.

honestly it’s starting to feel like no one’s really looking for anything. or maybe i’m just not the kind of person people want to stick around for. idk… it hurts more than i thought it would.

Yuki Tanaka · Answer

happened to me last year with this guy from Bumble we’d been texting for ten days nonstop about books & our weird obsession with gas station snacks then suddenly he vanished i sent a low-key “still into this convo?” and got nothing. it sucked & i wasted a week overthinking every message i’d ever sent. here’s what helped: i stopped waiting for people to prove they’re interested and started matching with more folks not in bulk but like 5–6 solid convos at once so if one ghosts it doesn’t nuke my whole week. also i gave myself permission to unmatch after one unanswered text past the first date confirm if they can’t say hey i’m busy that’s a no from me. you’re not desperate for asking what’s up you’re setting a tone. this guy’s radio silence isn’t about your worth it’s about his inability to handle his own crap. keep showing up but don’t pour energy into people who aren’t reaching back

why do people just disappear online?

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