Why wont he call me his girlfriend in public?

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Question

Weve been together two years, and I still feel like a secret. Last weekend we went to his cousins wedding, right, and this older aunt kept asking me what I did for work and how we met and then she said, 'Oh, are you his girlfriend?' He laughed it off like haha no not really just a close friend. Just a close friend. I smiled but inside I died a little. Its not the first time either. At work events, family barbecues, even introducing me to his coworkers, he does this vague thing where he says 'this is Marissa' and changes the subject. I mean, we live together, pay bills, talk about future stuff... but it feels like hes embarrassed or something. I try not to make a big deal but it stings every time. Is this just how some people are or am I asking too much to want to be acknowledged? I grew up seeing my parents always proud to be together, so this kinda stuff matters to me...

Pavan Desai · Answer

i remember sitting in my car after a party and crying for twenty minutes because my then-boyfriend introduced me as 'a friend' to his college roommate. we’d been together a year and half. it stung like hell. tbh i think some guys do this to avoid pressure or because they’re unsure but that doesn’t make it okay. what helped me was setting a boundary — i told him if he wasn’t ready to be open about us i couldn’t keep showing up like i was disposable. we had a real talk and he admitted he was embarrassed about how serious it looked. not your fault. try saying something simple like 'hey when people ask i’d love to be able to say im your girlfriend' and see how he reacts. if he brushes it off again maybe ask yourself how long you want to be the person nobody else gets to know

Why wont he call me his girlfriend in public?

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